For all you lesser beings who were not born in a non-English-speaking country and ended up monolingual, let me explain: my thinly-disguised alter ego gripping that "AUSKUNFT" counter is asking the question, "Was ist der Sinn des Lebens?"
For most of my life, while I was chasing work and money around the world — although satisfaction in work always came before money in the bank — it never occurred to me that one day I would be gripping that counter asking the silly question, "What is the meaning of life?"
I was getting satisfaction in my work and I was getting money in the bank, so what else was there? I found out that nothing else was there when I retired. I had plenty of money but no more work, and "der Sinn des Lebens" had gone, leaving me gripping that "AUSKUNFT" counter.
For most of my life, I had an answer to the question "What do you do?" I was either becoming somebody or being somebody, but suddenly, that answer was gone. And with it went a huge chunk of who I thought I was.
So much of my identity was wrapped up in my work. My daily routine, my sense of contribution, even my social circles, they all revolved around my job. When retirement hit, I didn't just lose a pay cheque. I lost myself. Days blended together. Wednesdays felt like Sundays. Time became meaningless when every day became a weekend.
People said stay busy, but that busyness was just noise. It was a lot of movement without meaning. I could fill every hour of the day and still feel completely empty inside. Then there were the friendships at work. Thy evaporated once I had stopped work and I faced a social void.
I think I finally got a grip on it. That grip is firmly on the "AUSKUNFT" counter, still asking the silly question, "Was ist der Sinn des Lebens?"
P.S. As one reader from far-away Cooktown wrote, "I’ve been pretty stupid in my time and the older I get the more it riles me. As for "Der Sinn des Lebens", I don’t think there is one. We’re born - most of us by accident - and then we start dying, and all we can do during that process is to focus on self-preservation. Many take others into consideration in their actions but many others don’t, and they are the ones that ruin life for the rest of us. If I had my way, there wouldn’t be football and karaoke and no tattoos nor any medical attention for recreational drug addicts. Ah, yes, and no cricket! Just thinking of this list has depressed me enough to get another cold beer from the fridge."
I agree on the cricket, and the recreational drug addicts; also on the tattoos and the karaoke (although I thought that fad had already faded). And I could live with the football on the condition that they don't show it on the telly night after night. Maybe I should invite my reader to write my next post while I get myself another cold beer from the fridge.
