Guy Fawkes, where are you?

The MP expenses scandal in the U.K. is unravelling faster than a ball of string in the paws of a kitten.

By no means the largest but certainly the cutest claim is by Sir Peter Viggers who was reimbursed, amongst other things, £1,645 for a duck house. Apparently, this is a sort of kennel, 1.5 metres high, that floats on the lake of this Tory Grandee's estate to keep ducks out of foxes and other harm’s way. Absolutelely essential stuff for the good governance of the British Isles!

Their arrogance in this matter is absolutely breath-taking. The "Honourable" Anthony Steen gives an example:

Incidentally, on the matter of ducks, the Guardian recently reported that the University of Oxford got £300,000 to research ducks’ preference for water. They gave ducks access to a pond, water trough and shower. “They discovered that the ducks spent an awful lot of time under the shower, sometimes just standing there, others drinking from it." So perhaps the next duck house claimed by Sir Peter will come with a duck shower. Or will he duck for cover?

And here's the shortest speech in history to cover an event which is the first in over 300 years:

The Hair Cut One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.' Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.