HOMEOWNERS POLICY SPECIAL FORM
We also will defend you in court if some sonuvabitch makes a claim against you, or pay his damages, and we'll pay the medical bills of some people who get hurt accidentally at your place, or some other places. (We could spell it out in detail, but you wouldn't understand one F***ing word of it anyway--shit--we had to hire ten lawyers just to figure THIS out after we wrote it). CONDITIONS:
By: ______________________________ Dated _______________
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Not the most elegant wording but honest, isn't it? More honest than the small print in most insurance policies (how many have actually read that bit?), especially when it comes to the definition of "flood", a subject close to my heart and always close at hand.
Many insurance companies have had their fancy lawyers draft definitions of “flood” which don’t actually pay out on a flood situation. A general rule of thumb is that if the flood damage is caused from the sky above (a storm), then you’re covered. If the flood damage is caused from below (like from a swollen river, creek or stormwater drain) then you’re not covered. How crazy is that? And don’t argue about how the river and creek were swollen from above. That logic won’t wash with the insurance companies and their lawyers.
Ordinary, hard-working Aussies doing the right thing, paying their insurance premiums for years thinking they have protection are left in the lurch. Dudded at a time of disaster. To make matters worse, insurance companies are excluded from Federal laws covering unfair contracts. Which means insurance companies can get away with contract murder.
Since 2003 the Federal Government has been negotiating with the Insurance Council of Australia to work out the issue and have yet to reach an agreement. Nine years of negotiation! Come on, give me a break and agree on a simple standard definition of a flood. None of this fancy lawyers jargon aimed at finding as many loopholes as possible.
My own insurers, the NRMA, who for years and years had me covered for "flood" - however they define it in their small print - have just sent me their renewal notice which announces in bold print,
"Your policy now includes flood cover. On the right panel you will see two premiums listed - one with flood and one without. You can choose which you'd prefer. To remove flood cover, you must contact us on 1300 137 593."
And here's the 'right panel':
What a lot of spin! I have always had flood cover which was always included in my annual premium of around a thousand dollars. Without a single word of apology, they removed the "old" flood cover and repackaged it as "new" flood cover for an extra $4,538.89 - yes, that's right, AN EXTRA FOUR THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHT DOLLARS AND EIGHTY-NINE CENTS.
Given this huge increase in premium, I think they don't really want my business. I think they are just telling me to EFF OFF! It doesn't get much plainer than that!