Now having lived in one place - "stuck" might be a better word - for as long as I used to move from place to place previously, I sometimes reflect on what made me do it, the moving-on and the staying-on, alas, both defy analysis!
W. Somerset Maugham begins his short story "The Lotus Easter" with the words, "Most people, the vast majority in fact, lead the lives that circumstances have thrust upon them, and though some repine, looking upon themselves as round pegs in square holes, and think that if things had been different they might have made a much better showing, the greater part accept their lot, if not with serenity, at all events with resignation. They are like train-cars travelling forever on the selfsame rails. They go backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, inevitably, till they can go no longer and then are sold as scrap-iron."
Having nothing to lose and everything to gain was often my only reason for moving on rather than a deliberate refusal to accept my "lot". I'd fire off another job application with as much forethought as ordering an-other beer, and I'd get another job just as quickly, and off I'd go again.
Without having read Henry David Thoreau, I saw around me "men [that] lead lives of quiet desperation". To some I must've been a bad influence, like my next-door-neighbour in Apia in Western Samoa in 1978. An expat from England, married, with a lovely wife and two boys, he worked on some technical job with the Samoan government, and had been there for many years. I almost envied him his 'groundedness' and his seemingly happy acceptance of the ordinary things in life, because I wasn't feeling grounded, and in less than a year I was off again, this time to Malaysia.
Was I a bad influence on him? Maybe, because when I tried to contact him again only a few months later from Penang, I was told he had left. I believe there's something in the human condition that leaves us slightly dissatisfied with whatever situation we are in. I know because I've just received this email from an old friend from my days in New Guinea:
"A restless spirit lurks deep in my soul which drives me to keep active even at 76. Life is for living and you have kicked the can down the road over the years as I have and hopefully we both have a few roads left in us. Time will tell. I am putting the house on the market next week."
Suddenly I feel no longer so alone!
