Need I say more?

Oyster Farmer

We live on the Clyde River which is famous for its fantastic oysters. More fantastic even than the oysters on the Hawkesbury River. They haven't made a film about it yet but they made one about the life of the oyster farmers on the Hawkesbury. I've just watched it and it's a great Australian romantic comedy - with typical Australian black humour - about love and life on the Hawkesbury River. The little river communities, the oyster farmers with their long-held traditions, and the Vietnam vets who have formed a kind of isolated commune are beautifully evoked in an affectionate examination of unusual lifestyles.
The movie is wonderfully relaxing and visually appealing, even with the shots of the very sub-standard accommodation that many of the oyster farmers endure. Some of the images are just so peaceful and moving that it's a shame some of them have to end to make way for the next scene - early morning on the river is a classic example of this.

"Oyster Farmer" is a revelation. It is warm, humourous, engaging and most of all, totally believable and very rewarding. Bring on the oysters!

Superannuation

If, like me, you've worked hard and, even after all the drinking, managed to put some money away for your old age, you don't want it gobbled up by those "experts" who charge you a king's ransom (and still lose you money!) for the "management" of your hard-earned cash. I started my own Self-Managed Superannuation Fund several years ago which costs me no more than the annual fee to have the books drawn up and audited once a year. And even that needn't cost you an arm and a leg if you stick with the people who specialise in this service and do it expertly and fast at a fraction of the cost of some of the other accountants around. I have my work done by SuperHelp who have been SuperHelpful and offer a great service at a very low fee. They're located in Sydney but you don't have to live there as all the work is done through the mail. (No, there's nothing in it for me; it's just that we live in such a sh*@@# dog-eat-dog world (remember how it used to be the other way around? :-) that when you come across a really helpful bunch of people, they deserve to be recommended - and you deserve to know about them.) Another plug must go to Trish Power and her free consumer website www.superguide.com.au. Trish has written several books on superannuation.

Retirement? I've often been asked, "what do you old folks do now that you're retired?" Well...I'm fortunate to have a few friends who have chemical engineering backgrounds, and one of the things we enjoy most is turning beer, wine, bourbon, and martinis into urine. And, we're pretty damn good at it too!

Of course, all things financial have been rather gloomy in recent months. Maybe in years to come psychologists will look back on this moment when the concept of being happy became separated from money and the stock market. When asked whether or not they were happy, people may simply say “yes” or “no” without first consulting stock prices. Fear, like euphoria, is a transient emotion. The difference between fear and euphoria is that people in the midst of a euphoric event know that it’s likely their joy will eventually become tempered. But, people who are filled with fear think it’s a permanent state – a world without end – a place utterly desolate. Not so! Things will get better even though there is little to be gained from trying to predict the future. You might as well read horoscopes, tealeaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as ‘nutty methods.’ Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as ‘a complete waste of time.' Don't believe everything you read and hear! It was none other than the chairman of IBM who declared in 1943, “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” Yeah, right, and I own two of them! (not counting the two broken-down ones in the attic) So stop living in fear. Trust your common sense! The world will not end! Life as we know it will continue! With some small adjustments! Here at "Riverbend" we have already taken appropriate measures to cope with the new situation as you can see from the above picture.

Don't Worry, Be Ha'apai!

 

In September 2006, I visited the Kingdom of Tonga in the South Pacific where on the remote island of Lifuka in the Ha'apai Group I met Horst Berger from Austria (not Australia but Austria, that little country in Central Europe where they speak German with a funny accent), who had settled there some twelve years earlier.

My little webpage gives you some idea of the remoteness of Lifuka whose main settlement (town would be too grand a word) Pangai consists of little more than a few shops, a post office, the local airline office, and the Mariner's Café, operated by another expat. It seems that Lifuka's remoteness was not remote enough for Horst who has just relocated to the even remoter island of Uiha where he's renting a house in the village of Felemea (brings to mind D.H. Lawrence's story "The Man Who Loved Islands").

Uiha is a tiny island, three miles long and half a mile wide at its widest point, with two villages, neighboured by the even smaller Tatafa Island, which is uninhabited and accessible by foot at low tide (if you are feeling brave; ask a local for the best route).

Uiha has 'Esi 'O Ma'afu - phone 60605 which is a small 'resort' - well, really a house, which belongs to 'Esi and his wife Kaloni and family, and a group of fales, or huts. There is a toilet and shower room (cold, dribbling and shared) and ... well, thats it! Meals can be provided at extra cost, up to $15 (Tongan) for the lobster (if they catch any), but considering the lack of world-class restaurants on the island, you're pretty much a captive audience. The fales have mattresses and sometimes mosquito nets, but no electricity or anything else for that matter.

Drinks can be bought, there is a kiosk shop nearby, and with some notice, your hosts can nip in the boat to Lifuka Island to pick up some Royal Tongan beer (quite possibly the finest beer in the world... well, it certainly tastes like it at the time). For entertainment there's 'Esi and his family ... other than that it's the conversation of the other guests that keeps you amused.

So why go? Well, the beauty of the island is indescribable. The blues and greens of the water, the leaning palms, the distant volcano and the endless coral formations all make the island a surreal South Seas Island paradise. Peace and quiet, lazy days in hammocks reading books, isolated and deserted beaches, private lagoons, no phones, no tv, no kids (except the locals), beautiful forest, spending a few hours on deserted Tatafa Island, tasty seafood and amusing breakfasts such as an omelette with chocolate cake on top. There is something indescribably great about waking up, crawling out of bed through a plywood door onto the beach, drinking out of a freshly opened coconut, washing in a bucket of cold water, then settling down in your hammock to watch the sun dance over the Pacific Ocean, while discussing the merits of fly-fishing with another guest. All your senses tell you, "STAY LONGA IN TONGA".

Uiha Island's 600-or-so inhabitants survive mainly on fishing and financial assistance from overseas relatives. Its children eventually have to attend school elsewhere because there are only elementary level classes on the island. The lack of education available to those children perpetuates the cycle of poverty and the community wants to build a kindergarten. If you can help, please contact them via this webpage.

If you want to give Uiha's newest resident a thrill, send a postcard to
Horst Berger
Felemea, Uiha Island
Ha'apai
Kingdom of Tonga
South Pacific

Heinz Helfgen

I listed as one of my favourite books "Ich radle um die Welt", written by Heinz Helfgen who in September 1951 at the age of 41 left Germany with a borrowed bicycle and DM 3.80 in his pockets. His aim: to cycle around the world! Which he did in 800 days at the end of which he wrote a two-volume book that sold 600,000 copies and captured the imagination of every German schoolboy at the time, myself included.

According to his biography, Heinz Helfgen died, aged 70, in 1990, and today he's all but forgotten and not one of my fellow-bloggers lists his book as their favourite. His original two-volume book and the one-volume "Neuausgabe" re-printed in 1988 have pride of place on my bookshelf to this day!

(Another German, Oskar Speck, paddled a kayak all the way from Germany to Australia. He never got around to writing a book about it so that his remarkable feat remains almost unknown, something which I tried to change by publishing a website about him.)