May I suggest that red woodchips be declared a prohibited substance? They are terribly addictive: you spread the first five cubic metres and say to yourself, "Bugga, that looks nice" (well, you don't actually say it; you just think it ☺), and so you order another five metres. And then perhaps another two metres because there's that small corner you want to chip over as well.
Before you know it, you've spent a thousand dollars on blooming woodchips and can no longer afford even fish'n'chips for lunch!
P.S. As a sufferer of triskaidekaphobia and today being Friday the 13th, I had better take it easy and just stick to spreading the remaining few metres of woodchip.
