Sylvan no more!

Click on the image for a view of what Sproxton Lane REALLY used to look like

 

Will this be the end of the end of Sproxton Lane as we know it? Will this be the end of the sylvan lane that leads to nowhere and attracts nobody and where time stands still in the land of wait-a-while?

It started with the tree-loppers ...

... then came the earthmovers ...

... who dug drainage channels ...

... followed by the big gun ...

... my favourite, the auto malas (that's Indonesian for 'steamroller').

And that is it until week after next when the bitumen boys will put their seal of approval on it.

Sylvan no more!

 

Red Dog

 

Louis de Bernières, probably best known for his book "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" (and the movie by the same name), wrote the endearing true story about Red Dog which was later made into an equally charming movie.

As he explains in the inside jacket of the book, "In early 1998 I went to Perth in Western Australia in order to attend the literature festival, and part of the arrangement was that I should go to Karratha to do their first ever literary dinner. Karratha is a mining town a long way further north. The landscape is extraordinary, being composed of vast heaps of dark red earth and rock poking out of the never-ending bush. I imagine that Mars must have a similar feel to it.

I went exploring and discovered the bronze statue to Red Dog outside the town of Dampier. I felt straight away that I had to find out more about this splendid dog.

A few months later I returned to Western Australia and spent two glorious weeks driving around collection Red Dog stories and visiting the places that he knew, writing up the text as I went along. I hope my cat never finds out that I have written a story to celebrate the life of a dog."

Read the book or see the movie and fall in love with Red Dog yourself!

 

WRINKLES: Something other people have, Similar to my character lines.

New technology creates new jobs

 

Old accountants never die; they just lose their balance

Taken with a selfie stick aka my outstretched left arm

 

However, they never lose their forensic stare even though it may now be underlined by under-eye bags. Especially after an autumnly-cool night during which their slumber was interrupted by two little Maltese wanting to go out for a pee (and at my age I never miss a diuretic opportunity to join them ☺).

And, being an old accountant, let me give you an account of what's been moving and shaking my little world at "Riverbend":

I've attended to my home maintenance although I've yet to climb the roof to remove the old flue - see here.

And my old mate Ian Paterson has relocated his retirement abode to tropical Port Douglas which at this particular time of year brings out all the envy I can muster. Oh to be old and free!

And, finally, the 21st century has come to Sproxton Lane in the shape of tree-lopping machinery followed by graders and dozers and a whole bunch of workers clad in safety vests leaning on their shovels to stop them from falling over (each other?)

And the meaning of all this? Bitumen is coming and the sylvan lane will be sylvan no more.

As soon as I've got over the shock, I shall show and tell you more.

 

How to maintain a healthy level of insanity in retirement

 

• At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!

• On all your cheque stubs, write, 'For Marijuana'!

• Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

• With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.

• Sing along at The Opera.

• When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

• When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

• Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....’

• Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

• Go to a large department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, 'There’s no paper in here!'