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Today's quote:

Sunday, May 1, 2016

How to maintain a healthy level of insanity in retirement


  • At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!

  • On all your cheque stubs, write, 'For Marijuana'!

  • Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

  • With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.

  • Sing along at The Opera.

  • When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

  • When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

  • Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....’

  • Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

  • Go to a large department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, 'There’s no paper in here!'