The short chubby Greek has left Nelligen

 

Nick the Greek brought his yacht "Amber Lady" to the Clyde River and bought a house in Nelligen in February 2009. We became good friends and I offered to show him Bali which I did in September 2010 - click here and here.

The "Amber Lady" sank and Nick sold his house at 13 Currowan Street and bought a Mercedes mobile home to tour this Big Brown Land.

Nick's house at 13 Currowan Street

Half your luck, Nick, and it's been good knowing you! What isn't so good is to watch others - first Ian who's gone to Port Douglas and now Nick - move on while I'm still sitting here like a shag on a rock!

Now I know what it must've been like for those who befriended me during my peripatetic years in many parts of the world. I always moved on and left them behind.

Now it's their turn to move on and mine to be left behind.

 

This video is going viral in Europe

 

Donald Trump began reciting the lyrics to a song entitled "The Snake" at his rallies a few weeks back - click here.

This is a powerful video that cuts straight to the heart of the matter.

And so does Senator Cori Bernardi's article.

 

Shakespeare and all that

Click here to create your own rebus

 

Yesterday was 'Oolladoolla Day' which means a swim in the pool, lunch and a glass of wine at the club, and a romp through the op-shops.

A book with the title “Shakespeare Undead” caught my eye. Sure enough, there was the bard with vampire teeth. I figured what the hell; it’s just a couple of dollars and if I don’t like it I just recycle it at the new op-shop.

Well, as it turned out, it's quite a funny read. Here are the first chapters courtesy of the author, Lori Handeland: http://www.lorihandeland.com/Shakespeare_Undead-chapters1-5.pdf.

Being very much a non-fiction reader, I picked up three others: "Talk to the Hand - The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life" by the 'Queen of the Apostrophe' Lynne Truss (her book "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" is a real hoot); A "Dictionary of English Down the Age - Words & Phrases Born Out Of Historical Events Great & Small"; and "Darwin and the Barnacle - The Story of one tiny creature and history's most spectacular scientific breakthrough".

Altogether four good reasons to bolt the door and stay home for the next few days.

 

All in vain?

 

Iin my old age, I haven't so much mellowed as melanoma-ed which means every six months I contribute to my dermatologist's late-model BMW lease payments by having several sunspots burnt off or cut out.

Every second visit requires a fresh referral from my GP who also drives a Beemo but seems keen to get his hands on the latest model as he put me through a battery of pathology tests whose meaning I can only guess: ESR; E/LFTs; CRP; Glucose; Iron; TFTs; Lipids/HDL; HbA1C.

The blood-sucking nurse first tried my left arm but her search for a well-defined vain was, well, in vain. So the tourniquet came off the left arm and onto the right, followed by another needle, and more searching. Funny how I bleed at the slightest scratch but they can't get enough of the stuff for their tests.

Finally, having satisfied her vampiric efforts, I was allowed to go and break my fast at the nearest coffee shop which advertised "Coffee with Bega Milk". Why not just milk? What makes milk from Bega - a small town south of here whose only claim to fame is its dairy industry - so special that it even rates a mention? All this redundant advertising to justify an extraordinary price for something ordinary.

"The Senior's Special for you, dear?" asked the pretty young waitress with a smile. When a pretty young girl smiles at you, calls you 'dear', and assumes you take the senior's special, you know you're old!

 

The NBN is coming to the bush

 

The NBN is coming to Nelligen and I'd better get used to all the new terminology:

LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter

LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.

DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.

HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.

WINDOWS: What you shut when the weather's cold.

SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season..

BYTE: What mozzies do

MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP: A pub snack.

MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.

MODEM: What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE: Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.

HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives and forks - from K-Mart.

MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.

MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.

WEB: What spiders make.

WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.

CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.

YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.

UPGRADE: A steep hill.

SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

NETWORK:What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.

NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.

ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.