Thank you, Australia!

Dear Australian Taxpayer! I want to thank the hard-working Australian people for paying for my recent vacation in Singapore and Turkey. I had a wonderful time with Julia. Honestly, you just haven't lived until you have stayed at a 5-Star luxury hotel. Thank you also for the use of the RAAF VIP jet and the RAAF crew and security staff who tagged along to be sure we were safe and cared for at all times. I understand that the fuel usage by the RAAF VIP jet was minimal for this trip, as were the carbon emissions. Nevertheless, we must ask Australians to drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and drive less too, so we can lessen our combined carbon footprint. I was really exhausted after Julia took me to England for the Royal Wedding last year but it was worth it to meet the Queen and Prince Philip, although we didn’t talk very much, as he was not interested in hairdressing. So it is always a treat to relax and fly with Julia in the RAAF VIP jet to watch a football match in Melbourne. Fortunately, although Wayne Swan says that all sectors of the community must make sacrifices to ensure that he can meet his budget surplus target, this does not apply to the Prime Minister or Federal Parliamentarians. They will continue to enjoy the whacking great pay rise recently approved by themselves; flying Business Class rather than Economy Class on short trips in Australia (even though there is insufficient time to serve breakfast on the 20-minute flight from Canberra to Sydney); overseas “study trips” at your expense; Ministers will use the RAAF VIP jet on overseas trips, rather than commercial air services; they will continue to get an enormous pension, and (in Julia’s case) the use of an office, car and driver and the usual travel perks for the rest of her life after she is thrown out of her job next year. I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on the table and trying to make ends meet. So I do appreciate your sacrifices and do hope you find work soon. Remember, we all have to share the pain of these economic times equally! Cordially, Tim Mathieson