How to maintain a healthy level of insanity in retirement

 

• At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!

• On all your cheque stubs, write, 'For Marijuana'!

• Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

• With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.

• Sing along at The Opera.

• When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

• When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

• Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....’

• Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

• Go to a large department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, 'There’s no paper in here!'