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Sunday, September 27, 2009

What the world's been waiting for!

I don't think there is a single soul left on this planet who has not yet heard of carbon-trading. It's perhaps one of the greatest satires ever played out in real life where participants are given permits to pollute the world on a wholesale scale and make big money out of it! Following this great example, along comes another scheme in which one can buy oneself absolution at a personal level: cheatneutral.

Here is an example of how cheatneutral works:

Steve and Lisa met while on holiday in Spain, and quickly fell head over heels for each other. That Christmas, at his office party, Steve got drunk and unavoidably repeatedly cheated on Lisa with Cheri, a co-worker. He paid Cheatneutral just £2.50 who invested his money in Alex, a single man with no prospect of finding a partner. In return for the payments, Alex agreed to remain single.

Thanks to Cheatneutral, Steve was able to come clean about his cheating to Lisa, and when he presented her with the Cheatneutral certificate they realised they wanted to get married. Their wedding is taking place in the summer. Steve continues to regularly cheat on Lisa and Cheatneutral continues to fund projects like Alex with his offset payments.

cheatneutral is about offsetting infidelity. cheatneutral is a joke. Carbon-trading is about paying for the right to carry on emitting carbon. It was worth US$64 BILLION last year, and is rapidly growing. Carbon-trading is also a joke.

Of course, the Catholic Church kicked this whole thing off some five hundred years ago when it indulged in selling Indulgences and who am I to argue with the Catholic Church. Come to think of it: who am I?

Click here for your own free carbon-offsets certificate, suitable for framing, to allow you to show others that you are doing your part to save the environment. And it may enable you to start your own carbon-trading with your family and friends!