Our front door bears the following message:
TO ALL NON-DOG OWNERS
WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR DOGS:
- They live here. You don't.
- If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
- We like our dogs a lot better than we like most people.
- To you, they are dogs. To us, they are adopted sons who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
- Remember, dogs are better than kids because they:
- eat less,
- don't ask for money all the time,
- are easier to train,
- normally come when called,
- never ask to drive the car,
- don't hang out with drug-using people;
- don't smoke or drink,
- don't want to wear your clothes,
- don't have to buy the latest fashions,
- don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
- if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...