It's a dog's world

Our front door bears the following message:

TO ALL NON-DOG OWNERS
WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR DOGS:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
3. We like our dogs a lot better than we like most people.
4. To you, they are dogs. To us, they are adopted sons who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
5. Remember, dogs are better than kids because they:
   1. eat less,
   2. don't ask for money all the time,
   3. are easier to train,
   4. normally come when called,
   5. never ask to drive the car,
   6. don't hang out with drug-using people;
   7. don't smoke or drink,
   8. don't want to wear your clothes,
   9. don't have to buy the latest fashions,
   10. don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
   11. if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...