At last count, I received the grand total of FOUR Christmas cards this year - yes, Reg & Kini, that includes yours! People who used to send me Christmas cards are either dead or think that I am. To make up for the shortfall, I did a Mr Bean and sent myself a handful of cards - for the full video, click here.
Christmas cards are said to have been around since 1843 but not with me. I only became a recipient and reluctant sender after I had settled in deepest suburbia in 1985 following a Christmas-less and Christmas card-less lifetime spent in some of the most remote corners of the world.
Back in Canberra, my suburban neighbours used to engage in an annual 'look-I-received-more-cards-than-you' contest by stringing up their Christmas cards across their lounge room windows. With my competitive spirit aroused, I began to keep the few cards I received each year until, a few years later, I was able to string an impressive-looking collection across my own window. 'Look, I received more cards than you!' On closer inspection by one particular neighbour, I had a bit of explaining to do why, in the year 1990, a friend was wishing me "all the best for 1986!"
Thanks to my last-minute impression of doing a Mr Bean, I can now start my countdown to Christmas after having rolled out the razor wire across the gate - another old German custom! - to keep visitors away because I want more than just one silent night; I want a totally silent Christmas!
Thank you for not bothering me!
P.S. As I sat on the sundrenched verandah and watched the gyrations of the stockmarket on this last trading day before Christmas, I noticed someone reaching across the razor wire at the gate to put something into the mailbox. Turned out to be Christmas card number FIVE! Grrrh!
