The awful German language

 

 

Having acquired two new email friends in Germany, one some months ago in my (c)old hometown Braunschweig, and the other just a few days ago in the equally (c)old Hansestadt Hamburg — and both at their own instigation rather than mine, which means they have only themselves to blame for getting all those pesky emails from me — I am beginning to write long sentences like this one again, even though I've been a Hemingway stylist all my adult life which, thankfully, I spent in English-speaking countries.

 

In case you don't know what Mark Twain meant by this, and always assuming you can read German, here is a perfect example received in this morning's email (and no offence given to the writer and, hopefully, none taken): "Ich möchte meinen heutigen Beitrag, in dem ich ein bisschen durch die Themen springe, ohne ihnen genügend Raum zu geben, weil ich hier gerade etwas gegen die Uhr arbeite, nicht ohne folgende Bemerkung beenden, denn das liegt mir sehr am Herzen." This is perfect German - but only to another German!

 

Mark Twain had something (not always nice) to say about the awfulness of the German language, even though he became quite fluent in it. I invite anyone who entertains even the slightest thought of learning the German language to first read his essay 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕬𝖜𝖋𝖚𝖑 𝕲𝖊𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓 𝕷𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖚𝖆𝖌𝖊.

In fact, I should have handed it out to all my would-be students when, many years ago, I volunteered to teach German at the local Adult Education Centre. All they ever learnt was "Guten Morgen" which they still wish me regardless of the time of day whenever we meet in towm.

 

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