A concerned friend who's handy with advice which is always abundant and completely free, asked me when seeing my www.thisisaprivatesale.com sign, "Why don't you list with a professional real estate agent?"
Well, I am listed with several people who gave up their previous plumbing jobs to triple their earnings by calling themselves 'real estate agents'. Their biggest effort so far has been to get the Agency Agreement, one of which I signed on the bonnet of the agent's car which he never got out of.
I had a few inspections, especially on rainy days when some tourists, desperate for something to do, ask a local real estate agent to be taken on a Captain Cook's Tour. The last time an agent rang to say that he would bring out some people "in the next half an hour", I suggested they make an appointment for the next day. "But they won't be here tomorrow", the agent cried. My point exactly!
Another agent couldn't understand why I didn't accept an offer by a potential buyer who wanted me to hold the property for him for the next twelve months while he did 'due diligence'. If at the end of the year he decided not to buy, he'd get his deposit back and walk away. I told him to keep walking.
One agent, clearly a failed statistician, tried to impress me with the enormity of selling this high-value property by saying, "So far this year only 8 people have driven over the Batemans Bay bridge willing to spend over $1 million dollars on property. Thus if you sit on the bridge and count the cars for just one hour you see the task." I didn't know that every car driver crossing the bridge was looking for real estate, John, but I take your word for it! It just proves that 78.9% of all statistics are made up on the spot (if not on the bridge).
At least one agent was generous enough to impart his marketing secret onto me. "Instead of asking for $2million, make it $1,990,000", he suggested. "Why not do a Woolies and make it $1,999,999.99 ?", I countered. I haven't seen him since.
Anyway, I have my own strategy: I'm offering the buyer FREE BEER and a free "Riverbend" mug. He'd be a mug not to accept!
