Melbourne Cups in 1861 and 1862 which would explain the picture on the wall
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Before I start today's blog, I would like to acknowledge and pay my respects to the British and European elders past and present and emerging, who introduced civil society and prosperity to my adopted country Australia. |
These days you walk into a medical facility with just a bad case of dandruff and you come back out again having had open-heart surgery performed on you - always provided their initial x-ray of your wallet turned out to be positive!
Such was the case when I presented myself to a dermatologist with a black spot on my leg. Not to get too melAdramatic about it, the biopsy identified a melAnoma and, after a further consultation with a plastic surgeon, I was booked in for an overnight stay in Nowra Private Hospital.
Back in the day, they would've removed it with a rusty pen knife and seen me out with a cup of tea and bikkie. These days it involves a day and a night in hospital, a general anaesthetic given by a Malaysian anaesthetist, MBChB, MRCA, FANZCA, and a deep incision and skin graft by a Singapore-Chinese plastic surgeon, MB,BS [Hons], MS, FRACS, after which a Korean nurse wheeled me into my private room with my own wall television, my own telephone, and a plastic bottle beside my bed.
I got no sleep with the constant small cries issuing from an adjoining room suggesting prolonged orgasms or prolonged pains (the former can lead to the latter, as a parliamentary staffer in Canberra had learned).
From the plastic surgeon's website I had already found out that I was just a side show as her main business were breast enlargements. It made me wonder why certain women go through all this pain. As the youngest of five children with three older sisters who seemed always short of handkerchiefs, I already knew that several handkerchiefs strategically placed into their bras could produce the same result.
The surgeon's instructions are to keep my right leg elevated and to move as little as possible which has prompted me to buy myself an early Christmas present. It's described on the box as "lightweight and portable for convenience, ideal for use in the bedroom or when travelling".
Too much information?
