That was the week, that was!

Our Prime Minister has spoken out against gay marriage. I'm all for it. I think it's about time they suffered, too.

Speaking of which, it's official: Australian men make the worst husbands in the world because they loathe helping out with the housework, a British study claims. The study, titled "Household Division of Labour and Cross-Country Differences in Household Formation Rates", is due to be published in the Journal of Population Economics. Study author Dr Almudena Sevilla-Sanz said that based on her study of 12 developed countries, women wanting to settle down were better off finding a bloke from Scandinavia, the United States or Britain than Australia. "Yes, dear!"

A former banker who is unable to quit smoking is to spend August on a remote uninhabited Scottish island in a bid to break the habit. Geoff Spice will be a castaway on Sgarabhaigh in the Outer Hebrides, a group of islands off the north-western corner of Scotland. He will camp during his stay as the island has only three ruined "bothies" - huts once used by shepherds - and no electricity or running water. Mr Spice, formerly a senior banker at NM Rothschild in London, hopes the solitude will help him give up his habit. "This is my last chance. I've been smoking 30-a-day as usual but I think I can crack the habit," British newspapers quoted him as saying.

And here comes the bride, not in the traditional Mao-jacket, but in a 2,162-metre-long gown. Lin Rong's wedding train, which stretched nearly 2.2 kilometres and had 9,999 pinned-on red silk roses, took more than 200 guests over three hours to unroll. The bridegroom's family was not too impressed at the far from frugal 40,000-yuan ($7,000) price tag. "It is a waste of money in my opinion," his mother said. If you ask me, I can see trouble less than two kilometres ahead, not only because of her expensive taste but also because two Rongs don't sound right!

Something else from China that doesn't sound right is the news that a Chinese teenager, sent to an internet addiction rehabilitation camp, has been beaten to death by counsellors. China is increasingly taking action against what it sees as a pandemic of web addiction. However, there is little agreement on how to treat it, with the Ministry of Health formally banning the use of electroshock therapy. Obviously, beating them to death is still an option!

And right here at home, after a Sydney Army base has been the target of a terrorism plot, the base's private security arrangements are to be reviewed. Private security arrangements? Am I missing something? A bunch of private security guards is protecting our army? Do tell, who is changing their nappies?

And while on this subject, cash-strapped Cuba is reported to be running out of toilet-paper. They're calling for donations before the sh*t hits the fan.

“If you start off north, go north, don’t turn east, west, or south.” Javanese proverb

The Trouble-and-Strife mumbled something about having missed an important anniversary date in July (I've got no idea what she's talking about!) and also wanting to go for a drive, and as her wish is my command, we spent two successive days visiting and eating out, first at the Moruya Bowling Club, driving 25 km south, and then at the Ulladulla Bowling Club, driving 50 km north.

We had never been to the Moruya Bowling Club before and it was quite an eye-opener! Beautiful food, great service, and a choice of a dozen lunchtime specials, priced at $9.50 ! And all this in a dining-room with a view across the greens to the Moruya River!

The Ulladulla Bowling Club has been a lunch-time favourite of ours for many years but we hadn't visited Ulladulla for a while, and were surprised how much had changed in this little seaside town: new shops, new buildings, new tourist attractions. The club itself still offered its $5-luncheon of generous proportions. I had three large rissoles, and washed them down with a glass of riesling, which made the whole trip worthwhile!

Berlin to Warsaw in one tank

Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson and Germans go together in much the same way that petrol and naked flames don’t.

So when the controversial host announced he had prepared his own spoof ad for the launch of the new Volkswagon Scirocco, the BBC prepared for the worst.

And the worst it got - scores of complaints from outraged viewers after Clarkson lauded the VW’s ability to go from “Berlin to Warsaw in one tank”.

More than 6.7 million viewers watched Clarkson’s “ad”, in which panicked Warsaw citizens fled the city, rushing to board buses and trains as sirens warned of the approaching Germans.

The reference to Adolf Hitler’s invasion of Poland that triggered World War II has sparked a storm of debate in the UK and Europe, with onlookers struggling to decide whether Clarkson’s ad was tasteless or just a bit of fun.

You had to have a nose for it!

 

 

When I started off in accounting in Germany in 1960, the very latest 'technology' was the so-called 3-in-1 pegboard system: as one entered a transaction on a customer's or supplier's statement, it copied through to their ledger card, and onto a backing sheet which was the book-keeper's journal. It required not only a good writing-hand but also a strong one! To this day, KALAMAZOO sells this system in the English-speaking world.

Why do I mention this? Well, it was also required practice to void any empty space remaining on an unfinished ledger-page with what was known in German as a "Buchhalternase" (literally a "book-keeper's nose"). Newcomers to the profession were made fun of by being sent to a stationer with an order for a dozen "Buchhalternasen". It only ever worked once but that was enough embarrassment to live down!

Not long afterwards, hand-operated calculating machines began to appear on our desks. What progress! No more page-long hand-written multiplications or divisions; these machines would do it all at the speed of a limp wrist! There were Odhners and Facits and Brunsvigas and they stayed around for decades; I used my last Facit machine in an accounting-office in New Guinea in 1970!

Not-so-pocket-sized silent and battery-operated calculators gradually replaced the clanky hurdy-gurdy Facits, but hand-operated adding-machines still kept us going through the not infrequent New Guinea power black-outs, thanks to the operators' muscle-power. Working in an accounting office in those days was not only mind- but also muscle-building!
(Excessive use of these hand-operated machines could have unintended consequences; click on the picture of the adding-machine to view a typical accountant of that time)

With nothing more to write about but a lot of unused space left, I leave you with a "Buchhalternase" as plain to see as the nose on your face.

 

The "MV Donna Marie" wishing-well

My Canadian friend is pining away for the MV Donna Marie, a little wooden ship for sale at CAN$35,000. A life misspent trying to drink CANADA DRY™, and associating with women who sang a lot, prevents him from buying her outright. Wish him well and click on Throw Coin!Further wishes of goodwill may be expressed via any of the following: