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Today's quote:

Friday, October 7, 2016

Closed for prayer


Friday morning and my office is closed for the moment as I pray for a cooling breeze because, at long last, summer weather has arrived with today's temperature a very pleasant 28° Celsius.

The Council Inspector has been for his annual inspection of the septic. Apparently, we didn't eat too much and everything is all right but not so for him: during an earlier inspection he dropped his expensive iPhone into another septic tank. Whoever calls him now will get nothing more than the proverbial. Cheer up, Jon! Better your iPhone than you!

And on this positive note, a former staffer from my Athens office sent me these nine important facts to remember as I grow older:

  • #9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
  • #8 - Life is sexually transmitted.
  • #7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • #6 - Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
  • #5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
  • #4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
  • #3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  • #2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
  • #1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.