Nina and Adrian Hoffmann went one better than the chap in this YouTube clip when they wrote their book Eine Insel nur für uns (An Island to Ourselves) in which they try to convince the reader that they lived like Robinson Crusoe in a primitive hut on a desert island.
Back in November 2010, Nina and Adrian (to say nothing of their dog Sunday) flew out to Tonga to house-sit Villa Mamana on the tiny island of Telekivava'u in Ha'apai in the Kingdom of Tonga.
They were just two in a long line of house-sitters, from Steve Gates to Claudia & Roland Pizarro and Roland Schwara and Horst Berger, who since 2003 had been hired by the owners, Kendall Struxness and Matt Muirhead, to keep an eye on the place and perhaps welcome guests who could book into this luxurious place at US$1,060 per night - click here.
None of the other house-sitters had thought of it but Nina and Adrian wrote several newspaper articles about their stay on the island which they turned into a Robinson Crusoe story. In reality they lived in the lap of luxury in a white villa facing a white sandy beach, spent their days reclining on a shady verandah gazing out to the blue South Pacific and their evenings curled up on a soft lounge watching DVDs, and in their private moments admired the imported marble in the bathroom, before retiring to their four-poster bed. For a reality check click here.
Indeed, they had felt so comfortable in this luxurious tropical island resort, that they came back for a second stint of house-sitting - when was it? - in 2013 but on that occasion they left again immediately because, as he complained to me by email, the toilets no longer flushed, the washing machine didn't work, and in any case they couldn't get the island's two generators started to have electricity. Boohoo!
Of course, according to their newspaper articles and in their recently published book, they were always fighting their way through the jungle, or cooking over a primitive fire in front of their palm-clad hut on the beach. The closest they came to admitting that the island was not just wilderness was when they showed a photo of the humble cookhouse which was a bit of a dead give-away. I mean, does every desert island come with a cute architect-designed cookhouse?
They then published a book, Eine Insel nur für uns - eine wahre Geschichte von Einsamkeit und Zweisamkeit or, loosely translated into English, "An Island to Ourselves * - a true story of loneliness and togetherness" which has also been made into an audio book - click here. "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story" might have been a better title.
(* The title - in fact, the whole structure of Adrian's book - echoes Tom Neale's "An Island to Oneself" which is his favourite book according to his facebook page (oops! since deleted; I wonder why?). Glad to know you read what I sent you a few years ago, Adrian - click here.)
Things come apart so easily when they're held together with lies: in the book's chapter 4 they write that they met a forty-year-old South African in Fiji who told them about a 'secret island' (echoes of "The Beach"?); Adrian tells the TV interviewer that he found the island by making inquiries with the Tongan Ministry of Lands.
According to Telekivava'u's owners, they had been kicked off the island they'd been on in Fiji and, while looking for another option, found Villa Mamana's website. Having heard from the owners that the island was uninhabited at the time, they went there, totally uninvited and unannounced, to check it out. Of course, they liked it and offered to caretake it for free if they could stay in the luxurious guest house. The owners agreed and met them on the island six months later.
The book's frontipiece contains the words, "Vielleicht wäre es besser gewesen, wir hätten nie eine einsame Insel betreten" (Perhaps it would have been better, had we never set foot on a desert island). Perhaps it would have been better still, Nina and Adrian, had you truthfully reported of the existence of the luxurious Villa Mamana and, better yet, dedicated the true story to the owners of Villa Mamana who so generously made the island's luxurious facilities available to you.
They make no secret of having taken half a chemist shop with them ...
... nor of the fact that they bought all of Tonga's toilet paper ...
... but they certainly did not live, as they write, in a "kleine Hütte" (tiny hut). Their accommodation was the island owners' palatial residence. Does the white villa shown below look like a tiny hut?
Or this?
Not to mention the four-poster bed and marble-clad ensuite bathroom (one of two) ...
... or the comfortable lounge and polished verandahs.
You see, the true story is that Nina und Adrian lived in what the Lonely Planet Travel Guide rated as "probably the most exclusive and beautiful accommodation in Tonga ... one for celebrities".
They lived in this exclusive and beautiful accommodation free of charge in exchange for 'house-sitting' the place in the American owner's absence. Robinson Crusoe with his Girl Friday? Far from it!
Click here for Villa Mamana's website.
