Sitting on the jetty and pondering the problems of the world, I suddenly realise that, at my age, I don't really give a rat's ass anymore. I mean, if walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs, and hops, and only lives fifteen years; a tortoise doesn't run, and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so.
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
- My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
- Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
- Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
- If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
- It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.
- Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.
- I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
- Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
- It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
- The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
- When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
- It is not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth..
- Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
Have I sent this message to you before? Or did I get it from you?
