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Today's quote:

Sunday, February 14, 2010

To make an omelet, you have to collect some eggs ...

... and I have been collecting dozens over the past week during which I have been looking after my neighbours' chooks who have gone to Tasmania.

The neighbours have gone to Tasmania, not the chooks! The chooks are still here, all four of them: Henny, Penny, Molly and Dolly, and they are busy laying one egg each every day.

Yesterday I had to shoo Dolly off the nest to get at the eggs and the way she looked at me with her beady eyes made me feel like a thief.

Anyway, they'll be spared this morning's visitation as it has been raining all night and still is and I don't fancy trudging through a rain-soaked forest. They still have enough food and they certainly don't lack water on a morning like this

See you tomorrow morning, Henny, Penny, Molly and Dolly!

With all that experience in avian behaviour, I wrote to Oxford University offering my assistance after they have just spent three years and £300,000 of taxpayers' money confirming that ducks like rainy weather.

I emailed them to say that "I can do the same research for a fraction of your cost! For, let's say, 3 pounds, and a carton of Foster's, I can carry out extensive research into duck-behaviour on your behalf. Please let me know when your next research is due to start."   I am still waiting for their reply.

If it walks like a duck, and has gone quackers, it may be an Oxford University research scientist!