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Saturday, June 24, 2017

The results are in


A couple of days ago, I conducted an online survey among my friends which, unlike this study, was not taxpayer-funded.

I posited the following: "After two months of continuous batching, I've come to regard the daily washing-up in the kitchen as quite relaxing and meditative. All that whooshing-about in those warm soap suds is a welcome antidote to all the bad news in the world", and asked, "Any comments from you that would be fit to print?"

Shown below are the replies which are fit to print, however, without naming names in order to protect them (mainly from their wives):

From one of the longest-serving 'inmates': "I am not batching but have a label on my forehead that says dishwasher! Not meditative at all; I think punitive is more apt."

And this one is from a Steptoe & Son aficionado: "I still prefer the bath. It must be a bit cramped your way; still, each to his own."

Here's the reply from someone who'd give you his full medical history, starting from the time they cut his umbilical cord, if you asked him "how are you?": "You need practice; one paper plate kept in the deep freeze; when finished, rinse and put back in the deep freeze; should last a week before replacing. Scrape scraps onto newspaper you're reading while eating; then roll up and in the rubbish; only need to wash knife, fork and spoon."

In marked contract, someone else simply replied, "Deep!", without even knowing the size of our kitchen sink.

And the final reply came from someone lying on the floor repairing a leaking dishwasher. Alas, his words, while memorable, are unprintable.

To add your late entry, email me at riverbendnelligen{AT]mail.com.