I'm getting a bit tired of writing about President Musk and his senile toady, that human curve ball Donald Trump, but what else is there, except perhaps for these latest news items:
Demonstrating his seriousness about declaring war on Canada, on Monday Donald J. Trump obtained a medical note from his new podiatrist exempting him from military service. The podiatrist, Dr. Mehmet Oz, indicated in the note that a "Vietnam War-era issue involving bone spurs" would prevent Trump from participating in an invasion of America’s northern neighbour. "President Trump's bone spurs would become dangerously inflamed if exposed to Canada's frozen tundra", Dr. Oz wrote. "If he decides to put boots on the ground, his feet should not be in those boots."
And negotiations over Ukraine appear to have stalled after Russian President Vladimir Putin kept Donald Trump on hold for 45 minutes listening to balalaika music. According to White House sources, Trump consumed 18 cans of Diet Coke during the lengthy musical interlude. Although the Russian president never picked up his call, Trump declare it a "perfect phone call". "President Putin honored me by ordering his Russian banjo players to sarrinade (sic) me for ALMOST AN HOUR!" Trump wrote. "He never would have done that for Sleepy Joe!"
With no end in sight to the war in Ukraine, Germany is now advising its citizens to stock up on cheese and sausages for what they call the Wurst Käse scenario.
Meanwhile, the government of Greenland has named a special ambassador (see photo) to greet members of the Trump delegation when they visit the territory. The government spokesman, Hartvig Dorkelson, said that the newly-appointed ambassador will meet the American visitors "the moment they step off the plane". He added, "The ambassador's plans for the visitors includes lunch".
Domestically, it's Budget Night, also known as the "Festival of Smoke and Mirrors", when the Labor Party no longer brings home the bacon but calls every large expenditure an off-budget "investment", such as the billions of dollars it "invested" in the National Diability Insurance Scheme, which is not an insurance at all but the nation's biggest financial rip-off. Being so much part of the Australian vocabulary, even Victor Hugo's book is called "The NDIS-recipient of Notre Dame".
