I'm not sure I can endure another thirty-odd days of career politicians dressed up as tradies, standing in front of cameras, having awkward conversations in factories and supermarkets with ‘ordinary hardworking Australians’. Any more footage of a rich guy in a suit pretending to push a broom or scoop food onto a plate, that might be it for me. Bring on the elections!
Of course, our prime minister tried to big-note himself by ringing up Trump who said, "I've heard of Vietnamese, Japanese, Taiwanese, Chinese, but Albanese? Who the fuck are you?", and hung up again.
Speaking of that mad place south of the 51st state and just above the Gulf of America, there's no longer any method to the madness, there's just madness! When you thought the Trump clown show couldn’t get any clownier, Pete Hegseth goes and texts top-secret war plans to a journalist while Democrats are seen huddling in a corner to decide how best to let this massive Republican fuck-up slip through their fingers. You couldn't make this up! On the bright side, at least Canada and Greenland will in future know when they plan to invade them.
I don't know how many of you still remember - or have even read - George Orwell's "1984", in which, at the climax of Hate Week, Oceania is suddenly no longer at war with Eurasia, but instead is at war with Eastasia, and always has been. The pivot comes with no explanation or even announcement. During a public harangue, a Party orator is handed a scrap of paper and redirects his vitriol "mid-sentence, not only without a pause, but without even breaking the syntax". Similarly, when Donald Trump switched sides in Russia’s war against Ukraine, Republicans acted as if nothing had changed. It takes a special talent to betray an entire worldview without missing a beat.
In breaking news, I heard that astronauts Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore pleaded to be sent back to the International Space Station mere moments after arriving back on Earth, saying space is much less chaotic, after their capsule parachuted into the Gulf of Mexico which government representatives insisted they call the Gulf of America. "Honestly, let’s turn around and get out of here", Williams said.
And, with TESLA showrooms going up in smoke all over America, I almost feel sorry for Elon, but then I remembered his wise words: "The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy."
On a serious note, here's an interesting take on Mr Tariffs' isolationist policies - click "Why is Trump crashing the US economy?" to hear it.
