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Today's quote:

Friday, July 11, 2025

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

 

 

I keep getting so many messages from friends who have parts of their body breaking or falling off or being operated on or simply hurting badly, that from now I simply send them the link to this song. I want this played at my funeral; and anyone who doesn't whistle along, well, I'll never speak to them again, so try it now.

 

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best
And

Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing
And

Always look on the bright side of life
(Come on)
Always look on the right side of life

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow

So always look on the bright side of death
Adjust before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughin' as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you
And

Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
(C'mon Brian, cheer up)
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the bright side of life

Always look on the bright side of life

I mean, what have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing
You're going back to nothing
What have you lost? Nothing

Always look on the right side of life

Nothing will come from nothing, ya know what they say
Cheer up ya old bugga c'mon give us a grin
(Always look on the right side of life)
There ya are, see
It's the end of the film
Incidentally this record's available in the foyer
(Always look on the right side of life)

Some of us got to live as well, you know
(Always look on the right side of life)
Who do you think pays for all this rubbish
(Always look on the right side of life)
They're not gonna make their money back, you know
I told them, I said to him, Bernie, I said they'll never make their money back
(Always look on the right side of life)

 

In extreme cases, I am prepared to send them my copy of Eric Idle's "Sortabiography", which only cost me two dollars at the local Vinnies shop. I almost didn't get it as I walked out having left it on the shelf.

Always looking on the bright side of life, I thought to myself it'll still be there next time I visited Vinnies, and sure enough, six days later there it was, still in the same spot I had left it. Who said life is a piece of shit?

 

For a book preview, click here; for an audiobook preview, click here

 

If none of this helps, and even Lifeline puts you on hold with a recorded message of this song, try this Korean version, courtesy of Kim Jong Un.

 

 

There ya are, see? Keep it in mind next time you're chewing on life's gristle.

 


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