In line with the lifting of all COVID-restrictions in New South Wales, drivers will enjoy a raft of new freedoms from next week, with the abolishment of all of the state's restrictive traffic rules and laws.
In a press conference earlier today, Premier Dominic Perrottet explained that the government would instead be encouraging drivers to use common sense and personal responsibility on the roads. "We believe in treating people like adults, not mandating what they can and can’t do,” explained the Premier. “That’s why we are not only removing all this ridiculous red-tape burdening drivers, but we will also digging up all speed signs and traffic lights. This will also have the benefit of creating new jobs and will free up our police force to focus on serious criminals, like left-wing YouTubers."
The decision has been met with praise by conservatives and the business community, who hope that their employees’ shorter commutes will result in increased profit margins. The Prime Minister has also offered in-principal support for the changes, on the condition that he can later claim he didn’t support it if everything inevitably turns to shit."
I copied this piece of news - bearing in mind Charles Caleb Cotton's misquoted aphorism "plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery" - from the The Chaser's website, but you already knew this much, didn't you?
I mean, as a matter of principle, I'd never have written "in-principal"!
